Professional Athletes Come Out in Support of Gay Rights, But Definitely Not Gay

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UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — Recently UFC star Rashad Evans became the latest male athlete to voice the point of view that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans deserve equal rights, and also that he is none of those things. The straight-as-an-arrow Evans released a statement saying that at first he “didn’t fully understand the issues around gay people.” And how could…