Godzilla to Remain in Retirement; America’s Infrastructure will Destroy Itself, He Says

America's Infrastructure

ODO ISLAND, Pacific Ocean – Godzilla—the giant, radioactive mutant sea creature of cinema infamy—said yesterday that he will not return from his 15-year-long retirement, defying many who expected his imminent return to America. The Japanese Destroyer-of-Cities says he will continue spending his days idly, relaxing off the coast of Odo Island, because he “doesn’t believe [his] services are really needed at this…