John Boehner Announces Plan C: Retirement

WASHINGTON – Following Speaker of the House John Boehner’s failed Plan B tax compromise, he has announced what he’s referring to as “Plan C”: his intention to quit the extraordinarily dysfunctional Republican party and leave partisan politics behind. Donning a Hawaiian shirt, sandals, and sipping a fruity alcoholic beverage, Boehner announced his retirement today, claiming that his job as Speaker of the House simply isn’t worth…