Target Offering 30% to Credit Card Thieves

MINNEAPOLIS – In an effort to make lemonade out of credit-card fraud, Target will will offer a 30% discount to anyone involved in the theft of approximately 40 million credit card numbers that were used at Target locations between November 27th and December 15th.

“Stealing is wrong,” said company CEO Gregg Steinhafel, “but Target is a company that values ingenuity, and targeting and mining information from our point-of-sale system is pretty ingenious.”

Industry insiders believe the “hacker discount” may be an attempt to make up for disappointing Black Friday sales. On top of the 30% discount that will start sometime next week, Target plans to slash prices on burner phones, untraceable gift cards, and IP address scramblers. Target hopes the sales will lure the crucial credit card scamming demographic away from competitors like Wal-Mart and Amazon.

“It’s only fair that if they stole the information from Target they should spend the fraudulent money at Target,” reasoned Steinhafel.” Plus it is a way to show that there are no hard feelings. Credit card scammers need to finish up their Christmas shopping too.”