“Republicans were swift to denounce the Supreme Court’s decision to uphold a key part of President Barack Obama’s signature healthcare law on Thursday. In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court upheld a provision that allows the federal government to issue subsidies to help low-income Americans buy health insurance. Within minutes, almost every Republican presidential candidate swiftly condemned the decision.
“Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), who has argued several cases in front of the Supreme Court, directed most of his outrage at the Justices themselves. “Today’s decision in King v. Burwell is judicial activism, plain and simple,” Cruz said. “For the second time in just a few years, a handful of unelected judges has rewritten the text of Obamacare in order to impose this failed law on millions of Americans. The first time, the Court ignored federal law and magically transformed a statutory ‘penalty’ into a ‘tax.’ Today, these robed Houdinis transmogrified a ‘federal exchange’ into an exchange ‘established by the State.’”
Cruz continued: “What we have experienced today and what Americans have been experiencing in the past from the Supreme Court is anything but justice in the interest of the American people. This is supposed to be the highest house of law and justice in the nation, and I am sad to say it has turned into deviant institution. In the words of an ancient Roman senator, ‘I love Rome, but it’s become a whore.’”
The Texas senator also shared his plans for post-2016: “God willing, if I become President next year, I promise the American people that the first order of business will be to shut down the mockery that has come to be known as the Supreme Court of the United States. That is my solemn oath, and Americans know Ted Cruz always keeps his promises.”
68 comments
I never thought someone would appear stupider than Sarah Palin… Way to go Ted Cruz… Really went for broke on the stupid…
Okay, you got me. Your site sucks. there is a difference between satire and lying.
Hmmm I didn’t know a president could do that maybe then Obama could just do away with Congress since he doesn’t like all the GOPs there that are always against him! I know our forefathers are turning over in their grave when words come out of Cruz’s mouth! MR. CRUZ PLEASE GO BACK TO CANADA!!!
Did you just call our supreme court a whore ?? you Talk about respect Cruz (you dont deserve to call Mr)
This site has not given all the remarks. This is fake.
This is so stupid it doesn’t deserve the place it took!!!
mixing truth with lies is deception not satire!!! just another site that has an agenda but too cowardly to just spit it out. congrats on being a complete douche!!
Thanks for the honesty, Ted. You’re not running for president. You’re running for King Emperor of the United States.
What’s particularly comical is that Cruz now admits he’s going to do what the more paranoid fringes of the GOP have long claimed Obama secretly intends.
This looks more like a story from The Onion. That’s the most bizarre promise I’ve EVER heard any candidate for national office make. I thought Sarah Palin was foolish.
Any person who would vow to shut down the Supreme Court, cannot possibly be elected as the President! We are fortunate to live in a nation that is guided by a Constitution that is the envy of freedom-lovers everywhere. Our system of three branches of government is a hallmark of our uniqueness, and, moreover, the critical need for “checks and balance.” Is the Canadian proposing to become king??????? Beware!!!!!!
Can’t believe anyone who doesn’t know how to properly use parenthesis. Case closed.
He knows he will not be elected President therefore he says what he so pleases! Absolute sad state of affairs with this guy.
The last paragraph is fiction. Ted Cruz is a student of the constitution, and he knows the POTUS can’t ‘shut down’ the SCOTUS. He also NEVER refers to himself in the third person.
SATIRE, people!!!! It aint real!!!! He never said that!
That’s right, because we all know everything else is just great! No problem here boss!
If you shut down SCOTUS, you go against the Constitution.
Please Canada…..take him back!
“Americans know Ted Cruz always keeps his promises.”
Lying is a sin according to your “god.”
In other words, violate the constitution when I don’t like something.
Well there goes his campaign!
Trolling for dollars..nice way to a profit.
Excuse me but how can Ted Cruz run for president he was born in Canada
So he plans to get rid of the Constitution? I doubt that an amendment getting rid of SCOTU
S will go very far. So that leaves declaring himself El Supremo and somehow getting rid of the Court, Clearly unconstitutional. This man has just proved he is totally unfit to be President.
So funny that those taking this seriously are denouncing the idea of doing something unconstitutional but they evidently don’t realize the current occupant of the White House has been acting unconstitutionally in reality. They don’t mind a dictator as long as they favor his actions.
You…you can’t just shut down an entire branch of the US Government, you fucking idiot. Go back to elementary school and read some real books you dominionist dipshit.
Hey it worked for Hitler. “We tolerate no one in our ranks who attacks the ides of Christianity. Our movement is Christian”. Adolf Hitler Oct. 28,1828. Heck, Thomas Jefferson gave it a name. “Ecclesiastical Tyranny”.
Right!!! You’re gonna shut down the Supreme Court of the United States – Stop acting like a whining child you Fucking A$$HOLE
Linda Dougherty, I certainly hope you just have to hit ‘paste’. As a retired teacher…I feel your pain.
Wha I want to know is how he going to get rid of the SCOTUS? There are three branches of government so one won’t be more powerful than the other and if you get rid of one then the others will have more power plus congress cannot interpret the laws and that is why the SCOTUS is around so they can take a look at the constitution and the law and see if it fits. Mr. Cruz claims he is a constitutionalist but he has to realize that the judges are not always going to side in his favor. You have to look at the bigger picture like Obamacare as it was what the country needed and the SCOTUS saw that it was valid and didn’t violate the constitution in anyway!
Half of this article comes from what Ted Cruz actually said here: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/420409/ted-cruz-supreme-court-constitutional-amendment
Is the “Roman Senator” quote an actual historical reference or allusion?
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/04/07/1376244/-Ted-Cruz-wants-to-block-the-Supreme-Court-from-deciding-marriage-nbsp-equality
Even knowing it’s satire, this is a quote that is likely to come from at least one (if not more) of the current crop of GOP presidential ‘contenders’.
for example (and I wish I was making this up, but its true apparently), in Kansas.. the GOP dominated Legislature passed, and Gov. Brokeback, oops Brownback, signed a bill that threatens to defund the ENTIRE Kansas court system if the Kansas Supreme Court rules opposite what THEY want on a case they are hearing. gotta wonder sometimes don’t you?
So when is teddy boy going to be arrested and put on trial for treason.
No really.
The only way you will “shut down scotus” is by performing a coup, ripping up the constitution, disbanding congress, and declaring yourself dictator.
That is not what he said! Go listen to the sprang he really gave.. Btw, Term limits for these yahoos are what is needed(I said that) none of the branches should be lifetime positions.
If he’s argued before the court then he knows, shutting down the SCOTUS would be treason, or perhaps sedition. Even suggesting it is tantamount to conspiracy to overthrown the duly established structure of government, or tampering with an independent branch of government (something even Presidents are not allowed to do).
Some young lawyer working in a DA’s office should see if he can’t make a name for his or herself having Cruz charged with Conspiracy to overthrow a democratic govt.
Yes people, especially the red neck set, the SCOTUS is part of the Government.
This dude clearly is afraid that dicks are delicious.
Ted Cruz is nothing but hot air just blowing
If he’s argued before the court then he knows, shutting down the SCOTUS would be treason, or perhaps sedition. Even suggesting it is tantamount to conspiracy to overthrown the duly established structure of government, or tampering with an independent branch of government (something even Presidents are not allowed to do).
Some young lawyer working in a DA’s office should see if he can’t make a name for his or herself having Cruz charged with Conspiracy to overthrow a democratic govt.
Yes people, especially the red neck set, the SCOTUS is part of the Government.
Dear Ted, Remember this?
“I, Rafael Edward Cruz, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.”
You are hereby served impeachment papers for violating your oath.
The Executive branch, the Judicial Branch, and the Legislative branch are part of the three point checks-and-balances designed into the Constitution, so that no one branch can eradicate the others. What Cruz is describing is absolutely unconstitutional and really he is as usual promising to do something that is not possible, either in ignorance or to pander to to supporters. Doesn’t he get tired of lying?
He meant SCROTUM.
He’s nothing more than a late nite talk show joke.
It’s hard to be a satire site when the Republicans are crazier than the satire.
http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/bobby-jindal-lets-just-get-rid-the-court
Sounds like high treason to me.
Lets not be posting satire making false claims on these nutcases. When Republcian candidates say stupid things as they so often do, I dont want to wonder if its only satire.
Like he fought against the TPP takeover, the illegal alien scourge swarming across America. He is 100% on this so called supreme clowns, but talk is one thing doing is another.
This supreme Court only serves Obama agenda of destroying America anyone that support Obama is a traitor including the fag community
F U Newslo, Lying libral bitches. Ted Cruz did not promise to shut down scotus, and shame on you for slandering him. Whos side are you on??
Go to hell, nothing but liberal douches, even worse because you pretend to be something else
Ignorant and stupid.
fake or not, everyone deserve to marry whom-ever they want. I think people need to open up their mind and see the brighter side to our future, our generation, the next generation, and the one after that. Love, equality, unity, pride, and color. That’s what we should be talking about.. not stupid dude talking about taking away SCOTUS
You might just get your chance to vote against Cruz and Palin in 2016.
Several friends have recently opined that the Constitution only requires one SCOTUS judge to have an appointment. It’s an interesting idea that Im in the process of studying. This would certainly up the ante for Presidential elections.
Wow I can’t believe how gullible people are when it comes to understanding what Cruise said. No wonder we have a wealth gap in this country.
Too many stupid people who have no comprehension skills.
If Hillary becomes president it will be the same $hit again just more of it.
I didn’t hear any republicans bitching when the superior court granted corporations the same right as people!
Cruz/Palin 2016! Sarah Palin Calls For Impeachment of Supreme Court Justices http://goo.gl/JGQqT6
LOL WHAT ABOUT OBAMA CARE ?
Um, no you won’t be doing that, you posturing imbecile. Not even if the country goes insane enough to elect you.
Once more Mr. Cruz shows his lack of knowledge to the simple parts of the Constitution. Supreme Court Judges are appointed not elected. To change that would require a change in the Constitution. Once more he shows how he would violate his oath of office, before even becoming the Nominee. No wonder citizens of this country dislike politics and politicians.
Who wants to rewrite the constitution?
This is how people like Obama get elected. People like Jodi Brege believe this so-called “satire,” when it’s just a bunch of bs. And – to top it off – she calls Cruz stupid! Jodi, please don’t vote – ever! [Do you know how many cases Cruz has tried before the Supreme Court? I didn’t think you would know. Look it up.] And you got your Ph.D. where?
Sorry Mr. Cruz but the Constitution does not allow you to do that. Remember the separation of powers contained within the constitution? Even though I agree with you that the SCOTUS made two horrible rulings, you would not have the power as President to do such a thing. Stop trying to be Obama and just saying what the people want to hear. It worked for him because his followers can’t think for themselves. We on the other hand can and don’t want to hear such stupidity!!!
Moron. He earns an F in my government class. Him and anyone who votes for him.
Pamela Jones Enns. Scotua has the authority to construe laws and the constitution. It is only when one doesn’t agree with the result that one says Scotus exceeded their authority or just plain had it wrong. That’s what dissenting opinions are about.
Just try it, idiot.
The arrogance of Ted Cruz is amazing. He thinks he is right about everything. The supreme court is made up of 9 people who were approved by congress. Does Ted Cruz think he is smarter than the congress that approved these justices. Ted Cruz is delusional and that makes him dangerous. If you follow Ted Cruz, this story is believable. He has done worst as senator and tea party religious thug. I bet he even thinks he can open the Rio Grande and lead the aliens back to Mexico.
He can’t shut down the Supreme court, no matter how screwed up they are. The Supreme court, no matter how screwed up they are, is the third branch of the Government and he would have to rewrite the Constitution to shut it down. I’m a conservative, and I will not vote for Ted Cruz.
Sites like this piss me off. At no point does this seem like satire..just fake news.
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