Ted Cruz: “The Solution For The Flint Water Crisis Is Pregnancies”

According to a report in Politico, Sen. Ted Cruz is standing in the way of a bipartisan relief package for the city of Flint, Michigan, where residents suffered lead poisoning as a result of a catastrophic budget-saving move from the governor’s office. The Texas Republican placed a hold on the aid bill even after Senate Democrats agreed to concessions in spending, stopping the bill from coming to a vote by the full Senate. Before blocking the measure, Cruz responded to the Flint water crisis by distributing bottled water to anti-abortion crisis pregnancy centers in the city.

Commenting on his move, Cruz stated, “I’m only doing what none of my fellow politicians and presidential candidates have thought about doing themselves, and that’s helping these poor people.” He also added that “none of the other presidential candidates are here,” as well as that “it is more important to help people when they’re suffering than it is to offer them help when they have no need for it.” “In other words, you’ll always find me whenever the going gets tough, because unlike the rest of the candidates, I actually care about the American people, regardless of race or religion. Which is more than what can be said about Donald Trump, for example.”

When asked to elaborate on why he chose to distribute water to just pregnancy centers in the city, however, the Republican presidential candidate explained that he’s “only doing God’s work.” “The Lord is angry with us because we’re killing our own kind, because so many of us support abortion. That’s why this whole thing with Flint’s water supply happened, because God is punishing the people of this city. And it’s just a start. So, I got to thinking: how do I, as a lonely individual, make this right? And then it occurred to me – by righting the wrong that is being done to American unborn babies! The next logical step was to make sure we have more and more babies and that we stop abortion, so I decided to help the anti-abortion clinics first,” Cruz explained.

“Doesn’t that mean that you’re deliberately letting men, children and women who aren’t pregnant die from lead poisoning?” the reporter asked. Cruz replied, “No, I’m just not interfering with God’s work. I understood his message and I’m doing what he wanted. But, what I can’t do is help those whom he chose to punish. To put it simply, He’s saying that whoever gets sick and dies from drinking poisoned water is probably pro-abortion. And who am I to mess with that, you know? So, I’m doing what I can to make sure we have more babies, and you know, He’ll take care of the rest. I’m confident that a rise in pregnancies will fix the Flint water crisis very soon. But, it kinda helps if you’re pro-life, too.”