Singer Ted Nugent claims that he has seen the light and will stop using toxic rhetoric to attack Democrats. In a Thursday interview with 77WABC Radio, Nugent swore that he has “reevaluated” his language and would refrain from saying “anything that can be interpreted as condoning or referencing violence.” “At the tender age of 69, my wife has convinced me I just can’t use those harsh terms,” he admitted. “I cannot and will not and I encourage even my friends/enemies on the left, in the Democrat and liberal world, that we have got to be civil to each other.” Nugent is well known for attacking Democrats, particularly former Secretary Hillary Clinton, former President Barack Obama and Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT).

“If you were to ask me what took me this long to come around and realize what I’ve been doing, I honestly couldn’t give you a straight answer,” he added. “I suppose, when you’ve been around for as long as I have and when you witness the transition of the greatest country in the world from a heaven on earth with freedom for all to an immigrant-filled, political correctness-adoring Soviet Union that I’m sad to say it is now, you kind of stop thinking straight, you know? It gets to you. I spent my youth and the best years of my life in this once-incredible and unique country only to witness its decay and destruction in my old age. But, it’s never to late to change. If we want to change this cesspool back into the jewel it once was, we need to start by changing ourselves.”

The Motor City Madman continued, “That being said, what happened in Virginia was appalling. It was a terrible tragedy that made me reconsider everything about myself. As a matter of fact, it was that tragedy that made me see the light and realize that the only way to rebuild this country is to change along with it. And in order to do that, we simply need to have more guns. That is the answer to the problem of left-wing nutjobs who stop at nothing to put their schizophrenic delusions into action. This because after a lot of thinking, I finally arrived at a conclusion: instead of treating sick people and locking up criminals, we’d be better off handing out free guns and getting rid of the scum once and for all.”

“To be quite honest, I figured, if it’s working in the Philippines, why wouldn’t it work here? We’re much more evolved and developed than those rice-eating, fish-hunting poor people. Of course, we would need to implement the strategy in a much more civilized manner, which is to say, we wouldn’t get the police and army to go after drug dealers and crazy people; we’d simply give out free guns to citizens – with silencers, of course, because want to be civil about it and not disturb our neighbors with gun fire and the screams of armed mental patients who are dying. In about a year or two we’d probably get rid of 80-90 percent of the scum and we’d turn this place around. Everything without a single spoken swear word, naturally, and with the utmost respect and cooperation between Republicans and Democrats. I’d even consider letting Bernie Sanders be team leader of his own personal death squad as a way of saying ‘I’m sorry for insulting you.’ It’d work like a charm, I’m telling you,” Nugent concluded.