Trump Demands Americans To “Start Paying A Voluntary 35% Tax” On Imported Cars In Order To “Fight The Bad, Very Bad Germans”

President Donald Trump is ready to fight Germany in an auto battle according to Germany’s Der Spiegel. Trump got a chilly reception at the NATO summit in Belgium after attacking fellow members. But he was caught pledging a battle with German automakers as part of his anger with “back dues” he feels the country owes to NATO. As CNN’s Jake Tapper noted Thursday, “Trump seems to think it’s like a country club.” In a discussion about the country’s trade surplus, Trump said, “The Germans are evil, very evil.” “Look at the millions of cars they sell in the US, and we’ll stop that,” sources told Der Spiegel. According to a report from the “Süddeutsche Zeitung,” the EU allies were horrified by the willingness of the Americans to view global trade with such a lack of awareness.

Yet, that doesn’t seem to bother the president one bit. As a matter of fact, in an interview with portal, the president argued that “we all know what happens when Germans are allowed to amass fortune and technical knowledge at the same time. We already had a Nazi regime that demonstrated just how lethal and dangerous such a combination can turn out to be. Remember what happened – all the automakers that today still exist and manufacture so-called luxurious cars and all that used to work for Adolf Hitler and helped him kill millions of people. If memory serves me right, Ferdinand Porsche was very close to Hitler, and the Fuhrer even designed the Volkswagen Beetle. That’s just one reminder of what tends to happen when the evil Germans are left to their own aspirations. We can’t let that happen,” he said.

Trump added, “And other than the Japanese – who, coincidentally, worked with Hitler during WW2 – there’s hardly a car maker on the planet today that can measure up to their quality and productivity. Well, other than the United States, of course. And that’s why we will take it upon ourselves – once again – to make sure that the evil Germans are stopped in their tracks for good. I would not go so far as to call this a full out war in the traditional sense of the word. However, it is a competition and then some. And in order for us to win – like we did some 70 years ago – we’re going to need the help of American citizens. I guess history does have a way of repeating itself, huh?”

“Anyway, we need Americans to start paying a voluntary 35% tax on imported cars from around the world, and especially on cars imported from Germany. This way, we’re going to make sure that not only German cars become more expensive and less available, but those who still decide to opt for a BMW over a GM machine will be pouring 35% more money into the federal budget than their commendably more patriotic countrymen. It’s a win-win situation all around, because there’s nothing wrong with American cars. We’ve got some of the best cars in the world – I should know; I drive around in an armored one every day. That thing is terrific. The Germans probably thought we’d forgotten what happened in World War 2. Well, we haven’t. And I’m about to whoop their butts yet again. Only this time, I’m going to do it Trump-style by hitting them where it hurts the most – their pockets,” he concluded.