Trump: “Ted The Liar Got Fugly Fiorina, I Bagged The Beautiful Palin”

Ted Cruz announced Wednesday he will tap Carly Fiorina to be his running mate if he is the Republican Party’s presidential nominee, praising her as a fierce competitor “not intimidated by bullies” who has “shattered glass ceilings” in both business and politics. “It is unusual to make the announcement as early as we are doing so now,” Cruz said at a rally to announce his pick in Indianapolis. “Well, I think all would acknowledge that this race, if anything is unusual.”

“Figures,” Donald Trump commented on the news following his speech at the Washington’s Mayflower Hotel on Thursday. “You know, I know the American people has had a lot of doubt in me as the future president when it comes to my religion. And I can say, having heard the wonderful news – the Big Guy upstairs must really love me. I mean, only a liar like Ted Cruz can take pride in the fact that an even bigger liar like Carly Fiorina is going to act as a surrogate for him. They deserve each other.”

The former reality TV star continued, adding, “I’ll tell you, he is making this too easy for me. I’m trying to lay off and not mess with him, but it’s like he’s intentionally bending over, politically speaking, of course. First he messes with my beautiful wife, who is a bombshell, and he’s married to a less-than-gorgeous girl, no offense to her. And now he promotes one of the ugliest women in the public life of America and brags about it. I mean, the guy must be a masochist. It’s like he has an urge to surround himself with the ugliest women he can find, both privately and professionally.”

“And instead of keeping quiet, he opens his mouth about it whenever he gets the chance. Well, you know something? He can have fugly Fiorina – I bagged the beautiful Palin. And in case you don’t live in America and you don’t know who Sarah Palin is and, more importantly, how hot she looks, I suggest you Google her. You can thank me later. It’s like I’m not even trying, this is too easy. What’s next? He’ll quit politics and start a real estate company? I’d love to see that one. No, I’d pay to see that one, actually,” the sharp-tongued billionaire businessman poked Sen. Cruz (R-TX).

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