Trump Threats To “Sue The Pope If He Doesn’t Apologize” For Saying Trump Is Not Christian

Pope Francis said on Thursday that Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump’s plan to build a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border is “not Christian.” Speaking aboard his papal plane after visiting Mexico, the pope was asked specifically about Trump’s proposal. “A person who only thinks about building walls, wherever they may be, and not building bridges, is not Christian,” he said, according to reporters who were on the plane with the pontiff.

“And I used to think he was a nice guy, can you believe that?” Trump commented on the pontiff’s statement rather jokingly, prior to getting serious. “Now, what are we politicians supposed to do when we get insulted like this? Some would say that we’re in this line of work for a reason and that we should get used to being insulted on a daily basis. And that’s fine for some people. But, unfortunately for others, I’ve only recently become a politician. And let me tell you, Donald Trump doesn’t take crap from anybody, not even from the man upstairs.”

The billionaire businessman continued, “Just because I’m such a nice guy, I’m not going to take serious action against the Pope. I mean, he’s a man of the Church, and I happen to respect the Church very much and I think that could create a lot of bad blood between us, especially since I’m obviously going to be the next President of the United States. However, I demand that he apologizes for his words, and that he takes them back. I say again, this is how far I’m willing to go to see justice done, but make no mistake – if he refuses, we’re moving to a whole other ball park, let me tell you. We’re talking lawyers, we’re talking lawsuits, we’re talking every possible court in America, in Italy, wherever. You know, it ain’t over till the fat lady sings.”

“Besides,” the media mogul added, “those are some hypocritical words coming from a man who spends most of his time in a city-state of his own, which happens to be, you know, completely surrounded by walls. I mean, where does that man get off…whoops, I’m sorry – he probably hasn’t gotten off in several decades, if you know what I mean, so I can see why he’s frustrated – where does he get the nerve to judge other people? You know something? He should feel lucky I’m prepared to settle for just an apology. Because if I hadn’t entered the presidential race, I’d have gone for a pope candidacy. Pope Donald the I, imagine that. Come to think of it, it doesn’t sound too shabby, does it?”