Trump Warns Arabs To Leave “Holy European Land Of Israel” Alone And “Go Back To Asia”

Israeli Ambassador to the United States Ron Dermer could hardly contain himself Monday during a meeting with Donald Trump after the president mistakenly implied Israel is not located in the Middle East. “Our Secretary of State has done an incredible job,” Trump said at a meeting with Dermer, Rex Tillerson and other U.S. and Israeli officials. That’s when the president made his geographical blunder: “We just got back from the Middle East,” Trump said to the room. “We just got back from Saudi Arabia.” Dermer can be seen stifling a laugh while he throws his face in his hand. He quickly moves his hand through his hair, disguising his inability to handle the president’s gaffe. Israel is a Middle Eastern country located on the Mediterranean Sea.

But, the equally comical and embarrassing situation didn’t end there. Someone obviously neglected to notify the president on the most basic geographical facts, since he continued to dish out ludicrous sentences. He proceeded to warn Arabs to “leave the holy European land of Israel alone,” not only because “they are one of our dearest and most powerful allies,” but also because “that happens to be a two-way street.” “That might not have been the case with my predecessor, but let me tell you something, now that I’m president, I guarantee you, no one will dare invade you or threaten Israel, not while I’m around. Because they know that if they so much as think about tossing a cigarette bud across the fence on your borders, I’m going to nuke them so hard there will be nothing left to ID. And you know I’m not a man who likes to make empty promises,” he said.

He continued, “So, I don’t care who you are or what you want – if you mess with this country, if you mess with the holy European land of Israel, know that you’re messing with the United States of America and the most feared military machinery on the planet. And that’s not a wise thing to do. I’m talking to anyone and everyone who might consider this an option, and that means especially Arabs. And before the media jumps out at me and calls me a racist and whatever else they might think of – yet again – I’d like to say that I don’t mean that personally. The thing is, everybody’s aware of who their biggest enemies are, and the situation is no different when it comes to Israel. Bottom line, Arabs need to go back home to Asia and stop teasing the bull. Because, you know what happens when you mess with the bull: you get the horns.”

Both Tillerson and Dermer hopelessly kept trying to interject and make Trump stop talking before could embarrass himself further, but the president was relentless as always. “I also fully appreciate how I must sound to you, don’t think I don’t. Here I am, a foreigner, coming to your part of the world, to Europe, making threats and acting like I matter. I know it must be a difficult thing to see, but it was about time somebody did it. Tell you what – think about the United States of America as your big brother. When somebody messes with you at the playground after classes, if you get bullied by the Arabs from Asia and you can’t fight back, just give me a call. If I’m being honest – I’m told DARPA’s been working on some new next-gen nukes and I’m itching to test them. So, let’s work together and solve both our problems. I know Jews always appreciate a helping hand, especially if it’s coming from their post-WW2 home,” he concluded.