Upcoming Happy Madison Production to Star Adam Sandler’s Testicles, Nick Swardson

NEW YORK — Adam Sandler’s next film will feature the popular comedian’s testicles in a starring role opposite longtime Happy Madison regular Nick Swardson. The feature, tentatively called “He’s Got Some Balls on Him,” centers on a buffoonish janitor who is afflicted with a sudden curse that only allows him to communicate through his testes. Aided by his best friend, played by Swardson, the hapless duo set out to remedy this curse and communicate by normal, non-testicular means.

“When we try to come up with another movie, we ask ourselves, ‘How can Adam Sandler make the most amount of money with the least amount of effort?’” said a Happy Madison spokesperson. In brainstorming sessions, Sandler and his regular collaborators were stuck in a creative rut, finding that any new ideas they came up with would have required far too much effort to pull off.

The film, due to be released this October, is reported to have a budget of over $15 million, but due to half of the film consisting of footage of Sandler bouncing his own balls up and down in front of a camera, the actual cost of production is estimated at $2.3 million. The remainder of the budget is said to have gone toward Swardson’s gambling debts, David Spade’s plastic surgery, and an endless marketing campaign.