NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • World

US to Provide Syrian Rebels with Black Powder and Muskets

  • March 29, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

WASHINGTON — Responding to the United States’ embarrassing history of providing military aid, only to have it eventually fall into the wrong hands, Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel announced that the U.S. will be supporting Syrian rebels with antique muskets in lieu of the expected AK47s and surface-to-air Stinger missiles.

“As a world force we have to lead by example,” Hagel explained Tuesday in an interview. ““We won our revolution using muskets, so they can too.”

Aware that the nontraditional nature of this plan might receive mixed reviews, Hagel further explained that, considering the present state of the economy and current military procurement levels, muskets were really the most economical option.

“Automatic weapons are the expensive and easy way out. In a real revolution you’ve got to get your hands dirty,” said Hagel. “We’ll provide the guns and the powder, but they’re gonna have to find their own balls if they want to win this war.”

To date, economists and antique arms dealers have praised Hagel’s directive. Historians across the country are also excited to finally possess useful information with the potential for practical application for the first time ever.

“It’s fantastic that muskets are making a comeback,” commented Revolutionary War historian David Wentworth. “We’re proud to donate muskets where they can actually be used to kill again. Our museum has hundreds of them in our storage rooms, and a few of them still even work.”

The first shipment of muskets is slated for April 1st and will be accompanied by Revolutionary War re-enactors, who have volunteered to train the Syrian rebels in both military tactics and “method” acting.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • America providing arms to syrian rebels
  • news humor and satire
  • Obama
  • Rebels in Syria
  • Syrian Rebels
  • U.S. Embassy
  • U.S. to provide Syrian rebels
NewsLo

Previous Article
Equality Movement Stalls as Facebook Users Switch Back Profile Pics, Generally Lose Interest in Gay Rights 1
  • US

Equality Movement Stalls as Facebook Users Switch Back Profile Pics, Generally Lose Interest in Gay Rights

  • March 28, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Michael Bay Chosen to Direct Next North Korean Propaganda Film 2
  • World

Michael Bay Chosen to Direct Next North Korean Propaganda Film

  • March 29, 2013
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
donald trump north korea
View Post
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • World
  • World Feature

Donald Trump Promises To Stop “The Crazy Muslims From North Korea”

  • NewsLo
  • September 3, 2017
Trump Announces U.S.-Russia Cyber Security Unit: “Together We’ll Control The World Like In The Good, Old Cold War Days And Make America Great Again” 3
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump Announces U.S.-Russia Cyber Security Unit: “Together We’ll Control The World Like In The Good, Old Cold War Days And Make America Great Again”

  • NewsLo
  • July 10, 2017
Kushner Attacks Paris Climate Agreement: “Why Should We Care About What Happens To Paris, We’re In The USA” 4
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Kushner Attacks Paris Climate Agreement: “Why Should We Care About What Happens To Paris, We’re In The USA”

  • NewsLo
  • July 6, 2017
donald trump north korea
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump Claims He Built The Panama Canal “To Make America Great Again”

  • NewsLo
  • June 20, 2017
Trump: “Only A Frenchie Can Dismiss Protocol And Try Stupid Macho Games” 5
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump: “Only A Frenchie Can Dismiss Protocol And Try Stupid Macho Games”

  • NewsLo
  • May 29, 2017
Trump Warns Arabs To Leave “Holy European Land Of Israel” Alone And “Go Back To Asia” 6
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump Warns Arabs To Leave “Holy European Land Of Israel” Alone And “Go Back To Asia”

  • NewsLo
  • May 23, 2017
Hot Mic Catches Netanyahu’s Wife Reassuring Trump: “We And The Russians Love You No Matter What The Media Says” 7
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Hot Mic Catches Netanyahu’s Wife Reassuring Trump: “We And The Russians Love You No Matter What The Media Says”

  • NewsLo
  • May 22, 2017
Trump: “The Importance Of Saying ‘Radical Islamic Terror’ Back Then Was Only Because We Had A Suspected Islamic President” 8
View Post
  • Featured
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump: “The Importance Of Saying ‘Radical Islamic Terror’ Back Then Was Only Because We Had A Suspected Islamic President”

  • NewsLo
  • May 21, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.