Vince Young’s Possessions Seek Free Agent Status

HOUSTON — Texas officials announced this past week that the Earthly belongings of former NFL quarterback Vince Young wish to be granted their freedom. The worldly goods, should their wishes come true, shall be cast to the winds.

In order to put on a brave face regarding the emancipation of his things, the former quarterback is wishing them well, but is not speaking to the media. Young allegedly took out a loan during the 2011 NFL lockout, which was also the last year he played a down of football. A $1.7 million judgment against him was recently reached.

Citing a “toxic relationship” and “irrevocable, expensive differences,” the stuff, including beds, TVs, cars and a BCS Championship ring, all say they “want to be free to pursue our destiny” in recent court filings.

Vince Young has been claimed as a victim of poor financial advice, though his financial adviser has sworn under oath that Young took out that loan to pay for a $300,000 birthday party,” the things said. “We will always value the time we spent together, but we simply have to move on. It’s for the best.”

Early reports indicate the physical possessions may go to the Giants.