Republican attacks on transgendered Americans and the religious fight to keep gender a binary delineation took a turn for the bizarre recently when Virginia Republican Mark Cole filed a bill that would force schools to check the genitals of their students in order to ensure that they are using facilities reserved for their “anatomical sex.” “Local school boards shall develop and implement policies that require every school restroom, locker room, or shower room that is designated for use by a specific gender to solely be used by individuals whose anatomical sex matches such gender designation,” part of the bill reads.
Commenting on his brainchild, Cole stated that “there is no other way to achieve total and utter gender separation, other than having an employee of the school physically present who would personally check each student’s genitals prior to allowing them to use the school facilities.” Adding that “we are not back in the Middle Ages” and that “technology is there to serve us and not the other way around,” the Virginia Republican also argued that “we better nip some of these problems in the bud.”
“I can’t really imagine how kids would feel if they were forced to display their private parts to an officer of the school every time they needed to take a pee,” he said. “I mean, can you imagine what that would be like? On one hand, you’d have thousands of kids doing that several times every day, and on the other hand, schools would actually have to hire people to look at students’ genitals. When I think about that as a job, I immediately start getting flashes of old perverts sexually harassing school students and all kinds of sick fantasies coming to life. This is not the Middle Ages, people, we have technology today that can do that for us.”
However, Cole also admitted that his system would not be without human input, at least at its inception: “X-ray scanners, on the other hand, would do the job perfectly. I mean, sure, at first we’d have to have someone monitoring the scans to make sure that everything is working without a hitch, but we’d soon upgrade the system into being completely human-free. In fact, instead of imposing the $50 fine for anyone who tries to go into the wrong bathroom, we could also put dog zapping collars on students, and have the system automatically give them a little tiny electric shock if they were to attempt to enter the wrong bathroom. We’d sort those so-called transgender kids out in no time, trust me.”
And when a reporter asked about the fact that X-ray scanners are obsolete and can cause radiation poisoning, Cole waved his head and replied, “Oh come on, those kids use their cell phones 24/7, they’re already poisoned. And besides, it’s not like they’re not smoking or doing drugs. A little radiation never hurt anyone, those kids are tough, have no fear.”
42 comments
Is this a joke? How much would this cost? Wouldn’t this money be better used educating the kids?
Mr. Cole is on to something —- in Bizarro World! It all boils down to dignity. Some people wish to steal it from others.
This is a cruel joke –I hope
x-rays…….radiating that early is bad…..cancer and infertility for something so laughable……..get real
And if they’re not sure, do they do a pat down? Or will the child be told to strip for someone? And still, who will be looking in the first place? Shouldn’t that person volunteering for such a job be watch very carefully for wanting to do that? Who will watch them? Since a child goes to the bathroom typically several times a day, how much exposure will a child actually get? Is that safe? Since the bathroom predator myth has been thoroughly debunked, what’s the point of doing this? http://www.mediamatters.org/research/2016/01/12/florida-experts-debunk-the-transgender-bathroom/207916
He says he represents the people of VIrginia. Well there are transgender people in Virginia that your statement includes. Let people live the way they want to live. After all they are letting you live as a politician.
Lolz…its just a bill. This will never be passed.
Lolz…its just a bill. This will never be passed.
some gop slime does this to my kid, and there’s going to be lots of dead gop neocon politicians. .
And if they’re not sure, do they do a pat down? Or will the child be told to strip for someone? And still, who will be looking in the first place? Shouldn’t that person volunteering for such a job be watch very carefully for wanting to do that? Who will watch them? Since a child goes to the bathroom typically several times a day, how much exposure will a child actually get? Is that safe? Since the bathroom predator myth has been thoroughly debunked, what’s the point of doing this? http://www.mediamatters.org/research/2016/01/12/florida-experts-debunk-the-transgender-bathroom/207916
Cole says this is not the Middle Ages, however his mentality is right out of the Middle Ages.
Cole says this is not the Middle Ages, however his mentality is right out of the Middle Ages.
Sure, let’s irradiate our children each time they enter a bathroom. Great idea. I think there would be a lot of kids going outside to pee. I can only imagine how many lawsuits this would initiate. What are they thinking?
Satire folks…:/
Satire folks…:/
Sure, let’s irradiate our children each time they enter a bathroom. Great idea. I think there would be a lot of kids going outside to pee. I can only imagine how many lawsuits this would initiate. What are they thinking?
Actually this is a good idea. The tranny kids/repeat offenders can get some shock therapy, and the rest of the NORMAL SANE students can carry on safely. Im all for it.
Blending satire, fact, and clickbait titling in the same article seems like almost as hilariously bad an idea as irradiating the gentiles of children.
Blending satire, fact, and clickbait titling in the same article seems like almost as hilariously bad an idea as irradiating the gentiles of children.
Actually this is a good idea. The tranny kids/repeat offenders can get some shock therapy, and the rest of the NORMAL SANE students can carry on safely. Im all for it.
This won’t work. I mean seriously….what if they have had bottom surgery. I think it’s going to require genetic testing as well as a physical inspection. Once the child has been tested and photographed the school id cards could be used to control access to the bathrooms.
Wounders how the parents are going to accept scanning thier child’s genitals one thing for certain catholic priests will voluntarily man the scanners for they have a long history of child molestation now thinks they pose a threat to oure kids
I can’t believe that I appear to be the only person that realises this is satire. Oh dear. Our future is doomed
This won’t work. I mean seriously….what if they have had bottom surgery. I think it’s going to require genetic testing as well as a physical inspection. Once the child has been tested and photographed the school id cards could be used to control access to the bathrooms.
Wounders how the parents are going to accept scanning thier child’s genitals one thing for certain catholic priests will voluntarily man the scanners for they have a long history of child molestation now thinks they pose a threat to oure kids
The faster this gets adjudicated the better.. It will never pass judicial review..
I can’t believe that I appear to be the only person that realises this is satire. Oh dear. Our future is doomed
Bum hurt republicans lost the war on gay marriage so they have to try and feel like men somewhere.
WOW THE REPUBS ARE SOME FNG PERVS!
WOW THE REPUBS ARE SOME FNG PERVS!
you know first you cant put shock collars on people i mean where does it end after that second you cant constantly expose anyone to x-ray scans it also reduces the chance of having proper medical procedures when hurt cuz if you have already recieved your radiation dose for a given period and then get hurt and need a catscan or x-ray you cant have it also it is a violation of personal privacy and a crime im transsexual and when i go to the bathroom i just want to pee plus your in a stall what are you going to see a stall wall and furthermore it is harrasment and descrimination based on gender wich is protected by the constitution of the united states
you know first you cant put shock collars on people i mean where does it end after that second you cant constantly expose anyone to x-ray scans it also reduces the chance of having proper medical procedures when hurt cuz if you have already recieved your radiation dose for a given period and then get hurt and need a catscan or x-ray you cant have it also it is a violation of personal privacy and a crime im transsexual and when i go to the bathroom i just want to pee plus your in a stall what are you going to see a stall wall and furthermore it is harrasment and descrimination based on gender wich is protected by the constitution of the united states
what the fuck, I srsly hope this is a fake article
what the fuck, I srsly hope this is a fake article
Isn’t there some document in D.C. that says we are protected from unreasonable searches?
Isn’t there some document in D.C. that says we are protected from unreasonable searches?
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It is insane that it is now IMPOSSIBLE to tell when a story is satire, a tin-foil hat story or actually real. Where did all these insane people come from? Why do they push for insane laws that bring back Jim Crow to penalize lawful citizens acting lawfully?
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