Voters Back Romney, Just to See a Chris Matthews Meltdown

NEW YORK — Chris Matthews’ explosive meltdown after the first Presidential debate in Denver was not only shocking, but also incredibly entertaining. Matthew’s hair was ruffled. His eyes were so wide and angry they looked as though they might burst out of his skull. Viewers could almost see his arteries exploding on his forehead. While the president’s performance was an utter drag, Matthews’ outburst was a riveting and somewhat frightening display. One can only imagine what kind of meltdown Chris Matthews would have if Romney won the election. Matthews could be the first person to ever spontaneously combust while on national television. And in a campaign season that has dragged on for what seems like centuries, a spontaneously combusting Chris Matthews might be the most entertaining thing MSNBC ever produces.

In fact, some Americans are so bored with politics that they’re considering voting for Romney just to see how insane Matthews can get. “Hardball” could easily become the most entertaining show on television if Obama were to lose the election. Can you imagine a manic Chris Matthews screaming at American audiences for hours everyday? It’d be a comedy goldmine.

During his epic rant Matthews kept calling for Obama to “watch MSNBC.” Who wouldn’t watch MSNBC if they could witness Matthews lose his mind like that again? Even Obama supporters are swinging towards Romney just to see another of Chris Matthews’ epic breakdowns. One Obama supporter said, “This election season doesn’t have the spirit of 2008, and Obama has come up short on many of his promises. I’m thinking of voting for Romney, not because I agree with his politics, but because seeing another one of Chris Matthews’s breakdowns would be more exciting than Obama’s reelection or any kind of intelligent conversation about policy.”

Another Obama supporter said, “Imagine if Matthews had his own reality TV show called ‘Meltdown with Chris Matthews,’ where all the guests would sit quietly and tremble as Matthews screamed his head off. That would be the best show on air!”

If Obama loses the election, there is no telling what Matthews could do. His producers and stage managers are preparing for the worst. President Obama better heed the calling and start watching and listening to his droning disciples on MSNBC. Truly, it is his only hope!