Walt Disney World in Florida will shut down the popular “Hall of Presidents” attraction if Donald Trump is elected President in November, a Disney executive said Thursday.
“We’d rather just shut it down and gut the place than put up a robot of that asshat,” said Jeff Tillman, Vice President of Attraction Development. “He’s hateful, misogynistic, and racist, and we don’t need that kind of energy in our parks, even in robot form.”
The Hall of Presidents was one of the original Walt Disney World attractions when the park opened in 1971. It includes audio-animatronic representations of all 45 chief executives, and each time a new president is elected, the attraction is shuffled around to make room for his [or her] robot on stage.
Disney already has contingency plans in place for the Hall of Presidents should any of Trump’s challengers – namely Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, or Ted Cruz – win in November.
“We have some props leftover from our Haunted Mansion refurbishment that would work great for the Democrats,” said TIllman. “We have a hideous, cackling witch that could stand in for Hillary, and a ghost that could be done up to resemble Bernie.” And as for Cruz: “One of our props that didn’t make it to the Seven Dwarves Mine Train.”
When told that the Hall of Presidents would close if he were to win the election, Donald Trump responded with characteristic bombast.
“Look, Disneyworld is a joke, OK? Nobody goes there any more. If they put me in there, maybe people will start coming again. In fact, you know what? Screw the Hall of Presidents. They should put a statue of me right in the middle of the park. And they should build a wall around that Mexico attraction they have over at Epcot, and deport all the people working there. Probably illegals and rapists anyway. Make America great again!”
Newslo sent reporter Darrel Simmons to Orlando to talk with Walt Disney World tourists and get their thoughts on the possible Hall of Presidents closure.
A Texas woman, who asked not to be identified, said that Disney needs to put a robot of Donald Trump in the attraction to “class up the place.”
“There’s some black guy in there, he really shouldn’t be there.”
She then gave a Nazi salute and walked toward the Haunted Mansion.
Another tourist, when asked about Donald Trump, punched our reporter before walking away. Trump then tweeted that he would offer to pay the tourist’s legal bills.
Gutting the Hall of Presidents would leave Disneyworld with a huge, colonial building with no attraction inside. However, Tillman already has an idea of how the buildings will be used:
“Bookstores. We’re going to sell books, at least, as long as reading books is still legal. Specifically, we’re going to have history books; books about the Constitution, and books about the rise of Nazi Germany and Japanese internment camps in the US, so Americans can see where their country is headed.”