Warren Buffet Tweet Causes Chaos in Stock Markets

NEW YORK — After joining Twitter last week, Berkshire Hathaway President & CEO Warren Buffet roiled stock markets today with a tweet centering on his preference of mid-afternoon snack.

The bombshell, sent from the handle @WarrenBuffet at 2:17PM CST, simply read “hate apple.”  Within minutes, Apple, Inc.’s stock plunged from $464 to $37 a share, sending shockwaves throughout the financial sector. By 2:31 PM, another tweet saying “meant appleS. LOLZ! My bad @insideapple #NeedAPM EnergyBoost” sent the stock back near its September 2012 high of $700 a share.

This is not the first incidence of market turmoil caused by the influential billionaire since he joined the hugely popular social media network. A Friday morning tweet from his account reading only “xomnewf[cew” sent some stocks soaring, others plunging, and analysts far and wide combing through the eleven character missive looking for clues as to its meaning. “No one knows what to make of this,” said Linus Newhouse, a veteran New York Stock Exchange trader. Exxon Mobil, which trades under the symbol ‘XOM,” has been particularly affected—rising from $91 a share to over $150 one minute, plunging down to $15 the next. “Does this mean Buffet has something ‘new’ on them? Or they’re his new favorite? Does that open bracket mean ‘frowney face’? Does ‘cew’ mean something in internet slang? God, I wish my twelve-year-old daughter was here right now,” said a panicked Newhouse.

He went on to add: “I haven’t seen anything like this since back in ’08 when [CNBC’s Mad Money host Jim] Cramer went on air wearing nothing but a cable-knit sweater and honking a clown horn while yelling: “Whether you buy or sell—we are all doomed! DOOMED!”

The volatility subsided after Buffet tweeted, “ZOMG! Sat on keyboard. #GeezerOnTwitter #SorryFOrCOnfusion.” It is the biggest twitter-related market shakeup since April 23rd of this year, when the AP Twitter account was hacked and reported explosions at the White House—sending Dow Jones stocks momentarily plunging 1,000 points.

As of press time, Buffet is said to be in his office about to tweet “<3 Groupon #buy #CantBeOvervalued” just so he can “see what happens.”