NewsLo
NewsLo
  • Home
  • Business
    • Accounting
    • Advertising
    • Branding
    • Career
    • Cyber Security
    • Entrepreneur
    • Jobs
    • Management
    • Marketing
    • Non Profit
    • Sales
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Web Design
  • Finance
    • Banking
    • Bankruptcy
    • Budgeting
    • Credit
    • Debt
    • Estate Wills & Trusts
    • Home Improvements
    • Law
    • Loans
    • Personal Finance
    • Taxes
    • Shopping
  • Investment
    • Crypto Currency
    • Gold & Silver
    • Hard Assets
    • Real Estate
    • Retirement
    • Stocks & Bonds
    • Trading
  • Real Estate
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Commercial Construction
    • Construction Law
    • Home Improvement
    • Loans
    • Property Management
    • Real Estate Laws
    • Rental Property
  • Insurance
    • Auto Insurance
    • Commercial Real Estate Insurance
    • Crop Insurance
    • Dental Insurance
    • Disability Insurance
    • Health Insurance
    • Home Owners Insurance
    • Identity Theft Protection
    • Insurance Law
    • Investment Insurance
    • Life Insurance
    • Pet Insurance
    • Renters Insurance
  • Contact Us
  • Sports
  • Today's Headlines

Warren Buffett To Watch NCAA Tournament Through Crystal Orb

  • March 20, 2014
  • NewsLo
  • No comments
  • 2 minute read
Total
0
Shares
0
0
0

OMAHA, Neb. – In lieu of his billion-dollar bracket contest, American business magnate Warren Buffett announced he will be watching the entire NCAA Basketball Tournament from a large crystal orb with magical powers.

The orb, five feet tall in diameter can feature several live ESPN broadcasts at once, and show sinister views of bracket contestants realizing their hopes are dashed when their chances of a perfect bracket are ruined. “I just want to watch their stupid faces drop, and I want to see all of them,” said Buffett.

The bracket contest comes from Quicken Loans, and Buffett has agreed to insure the winning prize of $1 billion. Mathematicians say even the most informed bracket filler still only has odds in the billions. In the years ESPN has featured a bracket contest, 30 million have been submitted, and none have come close to being perfect.

Buffett refused to reveal where the orb comes from, but implied that it may be from an alternate universe. “Look, I’m just not saying I don’t own a Stargate, okay?” he said. The orb can also switch channels automatically, depending on whenever Dick Vitale is not on TV. Purple clouds of smoke and mesmerizing displays of the cosmos emanate from the orb’s core each time a player hits a three-pointer. “The picture-in-picture on this thing is the best,” said Buffett.

In recent years, Buffett has stated he will donate most of his $53 billion of net worth to charitable causes, but the majority shareholder of Berkshire Hathaway still has the lust for causing disappointment for regular people. “A lot of people playing will be in debt, let alone poor, and just to watch their little unimportant lives get a little less hopeful is one of few joys in life you can’t buy,” said Buffett.

Total
0
Shares
Share 0
Tweet 0
Pin it 0
Related Topics
  • Buffet
  • newslo and humor
  • Warren Buffet
  • Web
NewsLo

Previous Article
Pakistan Intelligence Agency Didn’t Realize Anyone Was Looking For Bin Laden 1
  • Today's Headlines
  • World

Pakistan Intelligence Agency Didn’t Realize Anyone Was Looking For Bin Laden

  • March 20, 2014
  • NewsLo
View Post
Next Article
Fred Phelps Shocked to Wind Up in Hell 2
  • US

Fred Phelps Shocked to Wind Up in Hell

  • March 20, 2014
  • NewsLo
View Post
You May Also Like
Sports Broadcasting
View Post
  • Media
  • Sports

Sports Broadcasting – Its popularity and Impact in South Korea

  • NewsLo
  • February 4, 2020
Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them” 3
View Post
  • US
  • Latest Lies
  • Today's Headlines
  • US-Feature

Trump Compares Ivanka To Syrian Children: “She’s Also Suffered A Lot As My Daughter, Had To Move Between Countries All The Time Just Like Them”

  • NewsLo
  • July 9, 2017
Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure” 4
View Post
  • Featured
  • Latest Lies
  • Today's Headlines

Spicer: “Trump Has The Legal Right To Cancel SCOTUS Because They Serve At His Pleasure”

  • NewsLo
  • June 20, 2017
John Hagee Calls For “Prosecuting Women Who Say God’s Name During Intercourse” 5
View Post
  • Religion
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

John Hagee Calls For “Prosecuting Women Who Say God’s Name During Intercourse”

  • NewsLo
  • June 15, 2017
Conway Calls To Prohibit Golden State From Winning The Championship Unless They Come Celebrate In The White House “Like The Law Says” 6
View Post
  • Featured
  • Sports
  • Sports Feature

Conway Calls To Prohibit Golden State From Winning The Championship Unless They Come Celebrate In The White House “Like The Law Says”

  • NewsLo
  • June 13, 2017
Trump’s Lawyer Said President Made A Mistake By Firing Comey Because “As The Commander In Chief, He Could Arrested And Jailed Him Forever” 7
View Post
  • US
  • Politics
  • Politics-Feature
  • Today's Headlines
  • US-Feature

Trump’s Lawyer Said President Made A Mistake By Firing Comey Because “As The Commander In Chief, He Could Arrested And Jailed Him Forever”

  • NewsLo
  • June 10, 2017
Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’ 8
View Post
  • Today's Headlines
  • US

Ted Cruz Father Suggests Placing Atheists in ‘Camps’

  • NewsLo
  • June 5, 2017
Trump: “Unlike Obama, I Only Bowed Down Because The Golden Necklace Was Super Heavy” 9
View Post
  • Featured
  • Today's Headlines
  • World
  • World Feature

Trump: “Unlike Obama, I Only Bowed Down Because The Golden Necklace Was Super Heavy”

  • NewsLo
  • May 20, 2017

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

NewsLo
  • Today’s Headlines
  • Featured
  • US
  • Politics
  • World
  • Media
  • Sports
  • Privacy Policy

Input your search keywords and press Enter.