WH Spokeswoman Hope Hicks: “President Trump Has A Magnetic Personality That Can Help U.S. To Find Precious Metals And Be Great Again”

The absence of communications director Michael Dubke might already be impacting the White House because the statements coming out of the press office seem a little off. In fact, some online critics are mocking a newly released statement as a “parody” that looks like something President Donald Trump would write about himself. “President Trump has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him,” the statement from White House spokeswoman Hope Hicks reads. “He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000….He is brilliant with a great sense of humor. He has an amazing ability to make people feel special and aspire to be more than they every thought possible.”

Since the controversial statement garnered ample attention online, portal KnowMyRepublican.com interviewed Hicks and asked her to elaborate on her praises of Donald Trump. Hicks argued that the president “has done a lot for his country in the short time he’s served as commander in chief,” as well as that “one of the things that also makes him great is the fact that he always motivates his colleagues and employees to do the best they can at their jobs.” “I know it sounds highly unlikely, given the reputation he has in public, but I can assure you that everybody in the White House have nothing but kind and warm words for the president. He always says it’s important to excel at one’s job. I was merely following his advice when I was writing the statement in question, and I really don’t understand what it is about it that’s so interesting to people,” she said.

She continued, “Truth be told, I’ve never been one for words and expressing myself verbally, let alone speak about someone else. But, the thing is, I really tried my best. Anyone who’s ever met the president will surely confirm that he does have a magnetic personality. I suppose it’s one of those traits you have to be born with. You can’t just practice all day long and then learn it. It’s a given quality, not an earned one.” When asked for her opinion on the challenges Donald Trump will face in the future and his unique way of handling them, Hicks responded, “Oh, I have the utmost confidence that he’ll make this country great again. None of us at the White House doubt him. We know what he’s capable of when he sets his mind to it. Anyway, someone with such a magnetic personality only needs to find some precious metals and it’ll be job done.”

When asked to explain, she said, “Well, isn’t that what it means? I mean, that’s what I meant. Everybody’s been on and on about how our economy is bad and how we need more jobs and more work. So, I assumed that’s what he’ll use his personality for. He’ll go after some precious metals or something, instead of stealing all the oil from the Middle East like we’re doing now. I do know he’s very upset with China, because they’re not playing fair. But, I thought his magnetic personality will lead him to some new places on his trip where he’ll sense there’s precious metals to be mined, and that will help our economy. I mean, that’d really be something, wouldn’t it? All the other presidents just sat in their offices and talked about this and that. Donald Trump could become the first president in history who’s had an active role in improving his nation’s economy, and thereby, the lives of its citizens, as well,” she concluded.