Justin Bieber’s recent bout of debauchery in the U.S. and Canada, which includes charges of vandalism, driving under the influence, and most recently assault, has inspired over 100,000 people to sign a petition calling for the pop star’s deportation to Canada, his country of citizenship. “We would like to see the dangerous, reckless, destructive, and drug abusing Justin Bieber deported and his green card revoked,” reads the petition in part. “Hopefully, he takes his music with him.”
In addition to everyday people, many celebrities took park in signing the petition to make the dream of deporting Justin Bieber a reality.
1. Howie Mandel
The Canadian comedian and television star who has lived and worked in the U.S. for over 30 years said he “couldn’t have signed the petition fast enough” when alerted of the opportunity to deport Bieber. “After surviving the Rob Ford mess, I figured okay, if Americans still respect Canadians, they’ll always respect us,” said Mandel. “But I was wrong, because in a matter of weeks, this little-shit pop star has managed to destroy every last one of our reputations in the U.S.”
2. Miley Cyrus
This American pop star with a penchant for the spotlight voiced anger over Bieber’s continuous presence in the media. “There’s only room for one wacked-out attention whore in this country’s music business, and that’s me,” said Cyrus. “So get the hell out of my way, Biebs, and go back to Canada where you can associate with Bryan Adams or one of the other shitty musicians that no one cares about.” Cyrus reportedly twerked uncontrollably as she affixed her signature to the petition.
3. Vladimir Putin
“I believe that this Bieber fellow, who has obviously proved to be a raging homosexual with his womanly dance moves and high-pitched voice, should be deported to Canada along with the rest of the world’s gays,” said Russian President Vladimir Putin, a notorious opponent of homosexual rights. Putin went on to explain that Russia has been deporting its own homosexuals to Canada since 2005.
4. Rick Santorum
This hopeful GOP presidential candidate and staunch abortion opponent believes the recent Justin Bieber chaos has given pro-life advocates a bad rap. “Truth be told, Bieber makes even me reconsider the idea of indiscriminately spawning children, and I can’t have that,” said the man who once admitted that he would urge his daughter to birth a child even if raped. “He needs to be deported immediately. Out of sight, out of mind.”
5. Selena Gomez
There’s no love lost between Bieber and his former girlfriend, Selena Gomez, at least according to a recently published text exchange between the teenage pop stars. In addition to calling Bieber a drug addict in need of rehab, Gomez told Bieber via text message that she hopes he’s “deported to Canada where the Olympic hockey team can use [his] head as a puck.” Gomez was reportedly ecstatic when she learned that she could bring these desires to fruition by signing the petition.