WASHINGTON — In what is apparently an ongoing effort to bridge the gap between the President and gun-owning Americans, the White House has released a photo of a Barack Obama taking aim at a home intruder as he attempts to break into the President’s bedroom window with a crowbar. The photo comes just a week after the White House released a picture of Obama skeet shooting at Camp David.
“The President might have been in dire straits, but thankfully, he was able to unload two shotgun rounds into the suspect before calling for a member of the Secret Service to remove the corpse,” said White House Press Secretary Jay Carney. “He and Michelle then resumed a peaceful night’s sleep, comforted by the knowledge their 12 gauge was only inches away from the President’s lethal hands.”
“Like many red-blooded, hardworking Americans, I too am capable of unleashing deadly force on home intruders if necessary,” said Obama. “This picture should serve as a message that I love guns as much as the next Joe Six-pack, and if you trespass on White House property, you may well pay with a dirt nap.”
“Like millions of American families, we too rest easy knowing that we have the ability to protect ourselves, or, if necessary, form a well-regulated militia,” said Michelle Obama. “We’re also grateful that despite a week spent leading the free world, eating at the Waffle House, and enjoying Blue Collar Comedy Tour DVDs, Barack still had enough energy to go Second Amendment on that criminal’s ass.”