MOBILE, Ala. — With their ranks swelling since his re-election, white supremacist groups around the country have banded together to buy Barak Obama a small token of their appreciation. With the Ku-Klux-Klan and the Aryan Brotherhood spearheading the effort, the President recently received a surprisingly classy gift basket containing an assortment of fruit, white chocolate, white wine, white fish salad as well as white truffles.
“It was really the least we could,” said Steve Smith, a grand-wizard in the KKK, “the President has done so much for us. Just because we think he is subhuman scum doesn’t mean we couldn’t show our appreciation.”
The Aryan Brotherhood included a handwritten note with the basket, thanking the President for being a Kenyan. The note continues, “before you were elected many decent white Americans had become inactively racist. Since your election however, the Southern Poverty Law Center has noticed that the number of active and armed hate groups has grown from around 150 to over 1,000. Thank you for supporting our cause.” The note also bestows upon the President the ceremonial title of White Power All-Star.
At first, the President was confused by the gift, but in the spirit of camaraderie graciously accepted it and sent a handwritten note of his own. While he outlined where his views and the brotherhood’s diverged, he thanked the group for their courteous tone and asked them if they were interested in teaching a class on civility for congressmen.