“Beirut, Lebanon – The authorities in Lebanon claim to have detained a son and wife of the leader of the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.

“After an attempt to use fake identification cards, the two were placed into custody some 10 days ago.

“The reclusive leader of the group, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, is a very mysterious man, and very little is known about his personal life. While it remains unclear how many wives and children he has, the detained woman is believed to be one of them, even though officials repeatedly refused to give any details regarding her identity.

“Al Qaeda’s Nusra Front, who are holding in excess of 20 Lebanese soldiers captive, are said to be negotiating a prisoner-exchange deal with the Lebanese authorities, who are apparently planning to use the arrested woman as a bargaining chip.

US officials have praised the reaction of the Lebanese government, and have requested that the Lebanese armed forces increase their ground efforts in locating al-Baghdadi.

On the other hand, “Pentagon spokesman, Rear Adm. John Kirby, says that “the time of fighting wars with heavy artillery and ground troops is long gone. Nowadays, in modern warfare, psychology and the demoralization of opponents plays a huge role, especially when it comes to ISIS.”

When asked to clarify on his comment, Rear Adm. Kirby stated: “I don’t know how well informed you are, but the fact to the matter is that a man deprived of bodily pleasures is a man prone to making mistakes. Seeing how one of his wives is detained and al-Baghdadi has chosen the rough mountain and desert terrains of the Middle East as his hiding place, I would say that sheep are pretty much the only source of….well, let’s say “relaxation” for the ISIS leader. But, you know how the US armed forces work – we don’t do loose ends. We just don’t.”

Apparently, the sheep are going to get it. In more ways than one, that is.