Wisconsin Anti-Abortion Bill Blocked By Judge For Lack of Making Any Medical Sense

MADISON, Wis. — U.S. District Judge William M. Conley yesterday put a temporary 10-day freeze on a new state law requiring doctors who perform abortions to have hospital-admitting privilege due to a “troubling lack of justification” for the law.

“It’s almost as if this law may not actually be medically necessary,” said the Judge, thoughtfully. “Weird.”

The law, which the Republican-controlled state legislature pushed through from introduction to passage in nine days, and was quietly signed by Republican Governor Scott Walker over the holiday weekend, was supported by the Wisconsin Right to Life organization, who said that it was in the best interests of expectant mothers considering an abortion.

“If a woman is going to practice her Godless-given right to kill the helpless little baby within her depending on her for survival, she needs to know that the procedure is being done by an institution that is fully compliant with the law,” said Wisconsin Right to Life lobbyist Susan Armacost. “And if they are compliant and still able to operate, then obviously we need to change the law.”

Judge Conley questioned the state as to the medical validity of the law, noting the massive number of medical professionals and organizations that oppose the law, and the complete and utter lack of a single medical professional on record supporting it.

“Since the state has failed to date to demonstrate any benefit to maternal health of imposing this restriction,” wrote the judge in a 19-page opinion, “there is no meaningful counterweight recognized by the United States Supreme Court to justify the act’s immediate enforcement.”

“What?” cried Governor Walker upon hearing of the Judge’s ruling. “You mean our law has to benefit the mother? Man, talk about throwing up roadblocks.”

Supporters of the new law have said it was aimed at providing the best available health care for women and ensuring they have an opportunity to see the fetus on an ultrasound monitor before making the decision to abort.

Judge Conley responded to the latter provision by saying,, “What? Forced ultrasound? Christ, I didn’t even get to that part of the law. My bullshit radar went off just from the whole ‘abortion providers need to have admitting privileges’ crap. You mean you guys shoved that forced ultrasound junk in there too? Jesus, you people are sick.”