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Zimmerman Hopes to Join Fox News after Acquittal

  • July 7, 2013
  • NewsLo
  • 14 comments
  • 2 minute read
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SANFORD, Fla. – Accused murderer George Zimmerman—currently on trial for the 2012 killing of teenager Trayvon Martin—is reportedly “pretty sure” he’ll be acquitted of all charges, and has begun making plans for his life after the trial. According to sources, Zimmerman’s top priority is finding gainful employment, and the former neighborhood watchman believes his “particular talents would be very much at home on Fox News.”

“George has heard about Fox’s coverage of his ordeal,” said a source close to Zimmerman who spoke on the condition of anonymity. “They’ve been more—let’s call it understanding—of his predicament than the rest of the media, and he’s really appreciated all their support. Once he’s acquitted of these ridiculous charges, George thinks he’d be a great addition to the Fox News team. Nothing big—maybe he could host a weekend show, like Mike Huckabee.”

Many observers believe that Fox News’s coverage of the Martin case has been biased in favor of Zimmerman, who admits to shooting the unarmed teenager but claims that he did so in self-defense. Fox News anchors and correspondents have zealously defended policies like Florida’s “Stand Your Ground” law—which according to Zimmerman’s defense team justified their client’s actions—and Zimmerman reportedly hopes to be a “symbol of what’s possible when good-hearted people are given the freedom to stand up to thugs destroying our neighborhoods.”

According to his older brother Robert, Zimmerman believes that he possesses many qualities that make him perfect for television—like his “stunning good looks and impeccable posture”—and that his worldview will sync up well with the one aggressively promoted by Fox News personalities. “George knows better than anyone what it’s it like to be persecuted and oppressed by politically-correct minorities,” the elder Zimmerman said. “We think he’ll do nicely alongside such luminaries as Sean Hannity and Steve Doocy.”

Fox News executives are reportedly open to working with Zimmerman should he be acquitted, but a network insider granted anonymity to speak candidly told Newslo that they’re actually rooting for his conviction. “If Zimmerman’s found guilty, millions will tune in to watch our correspondents go ballistic with righteous indignation,” the Fox producer said. “If he gets life in prison, forget about it—it’ll be a goddamn ratings gold mine.”

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  • Fox News
  • George Zimmerman Fox News
  • George Zimmerman going to fox
  • George Zimmerman murdered
  • news humor
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14 comments
  1. Marlon Châteauneuf says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    He’ll fit right in with the bigots at Faux News.

    Log in to Reply
  2. Zoe Anderson says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    that sob should get life and get found guilty.

    Log in to Reply
  3. Shawn Olsen says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Zimmerman was trying to win love from his racist father and is also a self-loather, he did this to impress his bigoted father, so sad and reprehensible if this murderer gets away with killing another black kid.

    Log in to Reply
  4. Brina Dee says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    “symbol of what’s possible when good-hearted people are given the freedom to stand up to thugs destroying our neighborhoods.” To me he is still thinking of Trayvon as a thug. He really has mental problems.

    Log in to Reply
  5. Liz Johnson says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    HaHa! What a match!

    Log in to Reply
  6. Robert W. Mann says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    This is a perfect example of Poe’s Law.

    Log in to Reply
  7. Yamillet Thomas de Culpeper says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    What the hell?! Get out of here with this BS!!! He is a fat walking suicide waiting to happen cause can’t outrun, lie, or hide from your conscious, bastards!

    Log in to Reply
  8. Rolando Sanchez says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    HIs next JOB” Cleaning Toilets in his Prison tier!

    Log in to Reply
  9. Gina L Herbert says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    I’m glad I don’t the new station..SMH It was probably Frank the Bigot who is leaking this information..I wont be watching Nancy Grace or Dr Drew anymore since both of these networks has Frank the Bigot on the air..

    Log in to Reply
  10. Gina L Herbert says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    LOL! He’s too Soft for TV..

    Log in to Reply
  11. Paula Cushman says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Yeah right who wants to watch the wimp……

    Log in to Reply
  12. Xavier Onassis Bloomingdale says:
    October 23, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    HIS BROTHER IS A BOTTOM.

    Log in to Reply
  13. My page 2 says:
    November 22, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Zimmerman Hopes to Join Fox News after Acquittal – Newslo, Knowledge is the eye of desire and can become the pilot of the soul.

    Log in to Reply
  14. My page 2 says:
    November 22, 2015 at 10:10 am

    Zimmerman Hopes to Join Fox News after Acquittal – Newslo, Knowledge is the eye of desire and can become the pilot of the soul.

    Log in to Reply

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